June 1990 Print

Sermon of Father Lafitte, February 25, 1990

It has been for me a great joy to be able to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius during five days to fifty nine girls in the Academy and College. I have to recognize I have been delighted to see the work of sanctifying grace, the work of God inside the souls of these girls. They closed their mouths very well during five days and opened their hearts. It has been really a pleasure to see how easily God can work with girls of good will. And I saw beautiful things. They opened their hearts wanting to receive more and more, not complaining about the fact that the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius are quite tough and difficult. On the contrary, I saw in each of them good will, a true desire for sanctity, a true desire for sanctification. It has been a great joy for me.

But at the same time, I had a different feeling after a time, after two or three days. As you know, during the Spiritual Exercises we have something also very important called private conferences. All the people following the Spiritual Exercises are supposed to come to speak with the priest once a day. It's important for the priest to give spiritual direction during the Spiritual Exercises. And I heard many things from the girls themselves. And it has been this time a great sadness for me to see that in many cases—I would not say always, but in many cases—the teaching received at home was quite different. That is to say, we were trying to build something during five days. And I had the impression that in a few weeks all the work will be destroyed. I don't say, of course, that it will be the case in each family; of course not. I know that many of you parents will be very careful these coming weeks, these coming months to keep inside the heart of your children the work of sanctifying grace. But I am afraid that some of you, perhaps without understanding what you are doing, are more or less throwing a bucket of water on the fire. Not always—again and again I am sure that it is not the case for all of you, but I am afraid that it's the case for many families. How do I know that? Through some things your children are telling me. They are not telling me things like that because they despise their family, but only because they are confused.

What can we call this type of thing? I will call it, if you wish, spiritual sabotage. I will use this French word which means that during the time we build, some other people are trying to destroy. You know the parable of the master of the field who is sowing good seed inside his field and during the night an enemy will come to put some weeds, some cockle inside the field in order to ruin the harvest. How can I say that? I did try during five days with the grace of God to explain to your children how beautiful is the soul in the state of grace. I tried to explain to them how important it is for us to have a respect for the dignity of the soul. Why? Because our souls have been redeemed by the Blood of God, because of the price of these souls. To save only one soul of one of your children God has been obliged to send His Only Begotten Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ to die on the Cross, and through His Blood, to pay the price of Redemption. And I explained to them how important it is to look for important things, the salvation of our soul. And I told them that the only important business in their life was finally the salvation and the glorification of our own soul, and everything else is nothing.

I told them that our soul has been created in the image of God, and our soul is, in one sense, infinite because it's a spiritual substance gifted with intelligence and will, capable of knowing God and possessing Him eternally. Our soul is so big, in one sense, that only God and His Divine Wisdom can fill this soul. And I explained to them that you cannot fill your soul with human love, that you cannot fill your soul with human beings and material things. And they understood perfectly.

I explained to them, for example, that because this body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, we have also to respect it. And I explained to them how important it is for them to refuse absolutely to pose a tip of their finger inside the world and the spirit of the world. I told them, for example, how important it is for them as young women to be dressed constantly, every day of the year, as good Catholic women, to avoid any type of clothes which do not fit with the Catholic Faith, which are not lady-like. I explained to them that it is a scandal for a young woman to use mini skirts, to wear pants. And they will tell me, "Father, I agree completely with what you say; it's beautiful. But I have a question. You tell me that it's not good for women to use mini skirts. You tell me it's not good for a young woman to wear pants. But at home my mother is wearing mini skirts and pants. Father, what do I have to do?" I did not know how to answer this question because I did not want to destroy your reputation, the reputation of the parents of this young lady.

I explained also that because our body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, we have also to respect it. By consequence, it is very important to avoid all worldly things. And I explained to your children that it's not necessary at fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen years old to use make-up and cosmetics. They understood perfectly. But they came to see me telling me, "Father, we agree with you, but I don't know what to do because my mother is pushing me at home to use cosmetics and make-up. What do I have to do?" Again I did not know very well how to answer this question.

I explained to your children that in order to keep the grace of God and to keep the spirit of the world away from their souls, to keep the Blood of our Lord inside their souls, it was very important for them never to watch TV. And they understood perfectly. But they asked me the same question, "Father, we agree perfectly. We would like to do so, but you know, Father, at home the TV is on all day long. What do I have to do?" I did not know what to say.

I explained to them that it's important in order to keep the Catholic Faith to pray the five decades of the Rosary everyday. And they understood. They told me, "Father, you are right." But they told me also, "Father, you know at home they don't care about the Rosary. We pray it sometimes on Sundays, perhaps sometimes one day during the week and that's it. Father, what do I have to do?" And I did not know how to answer this question.

I explained to them that love is sacred. The sacrament of matrimony is one of the most beautiful sacraments given to us by God, and that we have to use it according to the law of God. I explained to them that because this sacrament is so great and so beautiful we have not to use it without being strong enough in our body, in our mind, in our soul to use it. And I told them to mind their business. I told them that at fourteen, fifteen, seventeen, even eighteen years old to take care of your business. That is to say, the sanctification of your soul, your studies, your school, and don't worry about things which have nothing to do with your own business. Don't worry about dating. It's not for you because you are too young for that because dating is nothing but preparation for matrimony. They understood perfectly. They told me, "Father, it is difficult, but we know you are right. We try to do so." But they asked me a question. "But, Father, you know I am fifteen years old. I have a boyfriend in the school. I know it's against the rules. My mom also knows it's against the rules, but she told me it's okay." And she asked me, "Father, what do I have to do?"

I did not know very well how to answer these types of questions. And I think Father Angles also does not know too well how to answer these types of questions without telling the young lady, "Your parents are wrong." Of course we have to be very careful. I think it is our duty as priests to keep the principle of authority and to explain to your children that they must see God behind the authority of their parents. And they have to comply and to oblige the Fourth Commandment: Honor your father and your mother. But, my dear parents, you need also to understand that the Fourth Commandment is also a commandment for you. Honor thy father and thy mother also means act in such a way that your children will always be able to see God behind everything you say, everything you think, everything you do. And it's a difficult question.

I would like, my dear parents, for you—all of you—to answer this question and to understand deeply inside your heart, my dear brethren, how important it is to have an absolute cooperation between the school and the family. And if we do not have this absolute collaboration between the school and the families, we are building the house on the sand. And Our Lord says that if the house has been built on the sand, the wind will blow, the rain will fall, and the house will collapse. By consequence, my dear brethren, it is absolutely necessary to have this collaboration. We need to work together. And I can tell you that I saw with my own eyes the work of sanctifying grace. How easily God can go inside the souls of your children. It's like a beautiful little seed which will become one day, with the grace of God, a beautiful flower. What you have to do, my dear parents, is only to water the seed, to water the small plant, to protect it against the sun, against the spiders, and to be sure it keeps growing, and you will have no problem. And you will see this beautiful flower growing more and more and becoming one day, as the Word of the Gospel says, a little tree in which the birds of the air will come to nest in the branches.

But, my dear brethren, my dear parents, you need to help us because if we are trying to explain to you all these things during the school year here—it's what the teachers, it's what the priests are trying to do here—but if you at home don't help us, you destroy during the night what we are building during the day. We are wasting our time. And instead of helping your children to go to heaven, you will put the spirit of the world inside their souls. As Our Lord says, "No one can serve two masters at the same time." He said to the Blessed Mother through Simeon, "I am the sign of contradiction for the rise and for the fall of many in Israel." And He said also, "He who is not with Me is against Me." My dear brethren, you have to be very careful. If you don't act now the way you think, one day against your will you will be obliged to think the way you act. That is to say, if you think as a Catholic, but finally in your daily life you act as more or less a worldly Protestant, one day against your will you will be obliged to think as a Protestant and you will lose the Faith.

In Saint Mary's you have been spiritually spoiled with all these Masses, and with all the spiritual help you have in this incredible parish, you must become saints very quickly. And I think what perhaps you need—I'm not sure, but I think perhaps what you need—is to stay one week without Mass. Perhaps things like that one day will occur, I don't know. If you stay one day or one week without Mass, it is perhaps this week or this day you will realize a little bit more the incredible grace God gave to you to be here in Saint Mary's. And instead of complaining because the discipline is strict, instead of complaining because things are not going your way, you will thank God for all the graces you received—the graces to be able to have a Mass everyday, to have the Blessed Sacrament within your chapel everyday.

Here, my dear brethren, is the key to the problem. We are afraid of sanctity. We are afraid to open the gates of our heart, and we are afraid that God will come inside and will take possession of our heart. Of course we are very happy when our children are following the five days' retreat, but we don't want to keep it going at home because we know that we need also as parents to change in order to help our children to change. And you're afraid of that. You're afraid that Our Lord Jesus Christ will ask you too to be dressed in a decent way all day long. You are afraid that Our Lord will ask you too, my parents, to get rid of your television. You are afraid that Our Lord will ask you to live according to the Faith. And you don't want that. You think that because you go to Mass everyday, you pray a little bit everyday, you think it's enough. I don't think it's enough. I think what Our Lord Jesus Christ is asking each of us is not good will, it's sanctity. It's what He said to the rich man who asked Him, "Master, what do I have to do to possess eternal life?" And He said, "If you wish to be perfect..." The meaning was this one: if you want to go to heaven, go sell everything you have and follow Me. That means that sanctity is necessary. In heaven you have only saints. If you are not a saint the day you die, you go to Purgatory to learn how important sanctity is. My dear brethren, do not be afraid of sanctity, but work with us. Work with your priests, work with your teachers, work with the Sisters, work with the housemothers and the housefathers, because if not, one day at seventeen or eighteen years old your child will come to you and will tell you that all these things finally are a big joke. It's a big joke because you say something, but you do something else. "You push us to go to a good Catholic school, but at home you don't follow the same principles. By consequence, it's a big joke. Goodbye." And they will leave.

Constantly, constantly people are coming in my office in Ridgefield telling me the same thing. "Father, all my children have lost the Faith. My children are gone. They are married to people they are not supposed to, they are married with divorced people. Why?" I answer, "Because you did not want to become a saint. Sanctity attracts sanctity. If you are a saint, if you struggle for sanctity, you will put sanctity inside the hearts of your children. They will have this high desire for sanctity. But if you do not practice what you believe, they will see by themselves the contradiction and everything will be destroyed." I am not telling you that, my dear brethren, in order for you to be discouraged. On the contrary I am telling you that because it's possible to change. It's possible to have inside your heart what we call the burning fire of the divine charity. It's the Epistle of today. But charity is the love of God through the practice of the commandments of Our Lord. You must have this divine fire, this divine charity inside your heart. Don't ask your children to behave, if you do not have inside your heart the conviction that the only important business in your life is the sanctification of your soul, don't ask your children to have the same convictions.

My dear brethren, use the time of Lent. God is giving you forty days to do penance, forty days to try to apply the principles of the Catholic Faith to your daily life, forty days to put into practice the beauties of the Catholic Faith. Do not be ashamed of your Faith. Do not be ashamed of the Catholic civilization. On the contrary, be proud of being Catholic. Be proud of being a living member of the only True Church without which there is no salvation. Be proud of being redeemed by the Blood of God. We have only one God, one Church, one way of salvation. And this way of salvation is sanctity, sanctity through Our Lord, sanctity through the Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ. This is, my dear brethren, what I wanted to tell you today. And if we do not have this participation, if you do not want to give this participation, I do not know what you have to do. But I'm afraid the solution for you in such a case is to go to another place. Here is a place for people who would like to become saints. If you do not want to become a saint, leave Saint Mary's and go back to the Novus Ordo. They will help you to have an easy life without problems. You will have priests who are more concerned about playing golf every afternoon than to take care of your souls. But you would have a big problem to go to heaven. On the contrary, if you do understand the absolute necessity of sanctification, in such a case, stay here. Use the sacraments, use confession, use Communion, use the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and you will see by yourself that Our Lord will perform miracles inside your soul, will give you all the graces you need to keep going and to bring spiritual life, sacramental life to your children.

Ask especially during the time of Lent, ask the protection of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Ask her to help you to understand all these things. At the Foot of the Cross she is there. Stabat mater dolorosa juxta crucem, juxta crucem—near the Cross. Ask the Blessed Mother, my dear brethren, ask her to put inside your hearts the love of sanctity, or at least this desire for sanctity. And the Blessed Virgin Mary will help you to realize and to understand that love and desire for sanctity is coming through love of the Cross. She will give you the Cross of Her Divine Son, and she will help each of you, each of us to stay juxta crucem near the Cross. And near the Cross with the Blessed Mother, all of us one day, we will be in heaven. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.