by Alison Brown

THIS IS AN ACCOUNT of a "retreat" for sixth graders conducted by members of a religious order in an English diocese. The "retreat" by no means shows the contemporary Church at its worst but, if it is typical of present-day "youth retreats" it gives cause for concern. As the youngest member of staff, I suppose I was the most obvious choice to accompany the girls. As a young person, I was told that I should enjoy myself—plenty of activity, hand-clapping, Folk Masses, etc. I went with an open mind to see for myself what the "retreat" involved and, quite honestly, I was scandalized.

"Gerry" and "Bobby"

We were met by two priests in cords and jerseys (non-clerical), who introduced themselves as "Gerry" and "Bobby." They had a lay helper called Anita. At supper in the refectory, one of the girls said Grace: "In the name of Spirit, well, thanks for the grub, it's O.K."

After supper we had wild party games as ice-breakers. Gerry, the priest, organized these and we joined in a game of musical chairs where we had to tip people off the chairs. There was an insistence that we use our Christian names and allow the students to treat us as "buddies." I found this a little too relaxed. After the party games we had a fifteen-minute tea break after which we went into the Pax room for "Triads" led by Bobby. This consisted of sitting on the floor in three's and answering questions such as "What do you enjoy doing most?" "What makes you happy?" "What makes you sad?" "Whom do you care for?"

And so to Mass . . .

Then we were told to get into four groups for Mass. To use the priests' terminology, they were the "sorry group," "the offertory," "the music," and the "thank you group." Mass was due to start at 11:00 p.m. on the theme, "I am Real and Integrated." The "Songs of the Spirit" music group led by a nun, Katie, decided that the hymns had to be loud and joyful and the Offertory didn't need to have anything to do with "Bread and Wine."

When we entered the chapel, I was surprised at the layout. Bobby said that originally there had been benches, but these were useless and inhibiting so they got rid of them and laid a carpet for people to sit/lie down on. There was a pink cloth hanging from the ceiling and a wooden frame to which spotlights were attached. The "altar" was a small square table with a grey cover and solitary candle. The lectern was a modern art triangle opposite the altar. We all poured in and settled on the carpet. The two priests entered, rather untidily. They sat down and Gerry began with, "Welcome, everyone. Do you like the chapel?" and a short description of the changes. Then, after the "In the name of…" Gerry said, "Right, let's have the sorry bit." A group got up and each read out a little statement such as, "For the times I've not listened to another's views I'm sorry." Then after the applause we had the bidding prayers which people made up, e.g., "God bless me dad" (sic). Even though it was Sunday we had no readings or psalm, only the Gospel.

After the Gospel, Gerry said, "I want you to think about what it means to be a real and integrated person," and he read us a passage from The Velveteen Rabbit, where the rabbit asks the rocking-horse how he became real.

At the Offertory, a variety of subjects were brought up to the altar with comments as follows: 1) a shoe—a symbol of our walking; 2) a pair of pajamas—a symbol of our sleep. (The priest said, "Don't forget to collect them afterwards or someone will be cold tonight."); 3) a billiard cue—a symbol of recreation ; 4) a book—a symbol of knowledge; 5) a C.N.D. badge—a symbol of peace. This was left on the altar. The group was then applauded.

The priests then turned to chat to each other before beginning a Eucharistic Prayer. It was not a prayer which I had heard before and one suspects it could have been "made up"—something which is certainly not permitted. The prayer and the manner of celebration of this Mass lacked dignity. One certainly did not feel any sense of the sacred.

At the sign of peace everyone had to walk around and embrace everyone else. This took almost five minutes and really was a noisy distraction. It was difficult to concentrate at Holy Communion, especially as we had linked arms and swayed to "Let there be peace shared among us" immediately before the Agnus Dei.

At Communion (under both kinds.) Anita offered the Chalice—totally unnecessary as there were two priests; and contrary to the Church's liturgical legislation. After Communion, the "Thank you group" got up to perform a sketch. Paula was the "mother" who was given a series of Christmas gifts by her three "daughters." "Look, Mum, here's a hair dryer. It was dear expensive," etc. The punch line was addressed to a girl who had presented a handmade card and nothing else. "Well, Sandra, yours is the nicest 'cos these have bought theirs but you've made yours, so it's real and from your heart." Applause followed and then the blessing before we stood up to link arms and clap and sing. Mass finished about 12:15 a.m.—incredibly late to have had Mass.

Day Two

The next day, after breakfast, we divided into groups to consider different forms of prayer. Gerry said that he didn't want to "knock" people who went into Church to say the Rosary because obviously some people "got a kick out of it."

The five groups in different rooms were as follows:

The pupils had to participate in three of the groups before lunch. After lunch we went into "God's cathedral" to play ball games. We had to run round and throw tennis balls at each other, including the priests and nuns in their jogging suits.

At 4:00 p.m. we had a talk from a young Christian Brother about his vision of the future—most of which was pretty negative. The brother didn't think very much of bishops, and thought that the priesthood was on the way out: brotherhood is the future. We were joined in the afternoon by the youth chaplain who introduced himself: "Hi, I'm Peter." In his arran jersey and with a beard, he looked like David Bellamy.

Another Mass

Supper was followed by a singing practice and then preparation for Mass. Again we had groups. Mass followed the same carefree pattern as before. Andy, the superior, joined us this time. Bobby, who was chief celebrant, said "Go on, tell Andy he looks like Seimon Le Bon" [LeBon is a pop singer]. Peter dressed for Mass, sat at the back and played the guitar until he went up to the "altar" to concelebrate. The theme of the Mass was "When you did it to my brothers, you did it to me."

The "sorry group" did a sketch of people on a bus each day demanding the only spare seat. A pregnant woman, an old lady, a tired businessman, etc. This was very noisy as we had sound effects of a bus noise from the chapel tape recorder. Again, no readings other than the Gospel. The sermon was about the shanty towns of Latin America and how the poor were unfairly treated. At the bidding prayers Peter said, "Let's pray for my friend who's left the priesthood now and is moving in another direction." At the exchange of peace, the plant pot, which hitherto had been on the altar, was passed around and we each had to pull out a name and then go to hug that person. I found this most embarrassing. The priests had to hug people too whilst Our Lord lay forgotten on the paten. One boy called out, after the individual embracing had taken place, "Let's have a free for all!" They were too excited at this point and had to be told to settle down as it was time for Holy Communion. The pupils flocked to Holy Communion without much reverence. Several of them returned to lie down again after Communion. The "thank you group" performed another sketch. One person was in hospital visited by another, one was in prison visited by a girl, and another was thrown out of home and taken in by someone else. They found it hard to concentrate and got their lines mixed up which caused laughter and jeering from the other pupils. The "victims" died and went to heaven; an "angel" appeared and said,"We're in heaven now." Jesus said, "When you did it to the least…" This was applauded. The Mass ended with standing and clapping to "All over the World God's Spirit is Moving"—a banal song.

Night prayer at 11:00 p.m. consisted of relaxing on the floor of the Pax room listening to readings from "Mister God, This is Anna," accompanied by pop music from Jon and Van Gellis. Lights out at 1:30 a.m.

Day Three

On the third day we had "morning prayer" which consisted of John Lennon's "So This is Christmas" played to accompany a series of slides depicting "Christmas" scenes—a soldier in Lebanon, a shop full of toys, the Nativity scene, a starving mother and child—meant to be contrasts. The rest of the morning was dedicated to "Vision of Church." Five groups had to decide how they viewed the Church and how it should be changed. Each group had to compare the Church with something else, and draw a picture. The groups were a petrol station, a circus, an orchestra, a hospital, a supermarket.

The petrol station group picked things in the station which could be identified with "Church" things. Examples;

It really reached ridiculous proportions. Gerry thought it amusing to ask what we could equate with sun glasses. A picture of a petrol station was then drawn.

The circus seemed an obvious choice of subject with which to compare the Church (and thereby mock it).

In the drawing of "The Church Now"—the circus ring represented the Church, the whole thing was God, the laity were the audience, the clowns were priest, the pope was ring master. In the "Church as we want it," the ring was bigger and the audience was in the ring with the acts, the priests were people who didn't want to come to the circus. The bishops didn't know that there was a circus. The priests thought this idea for a new Church was excellent and applauded it. The pupils then agreed that this was great but going to Mass in a parish was rubbish. No one countered this argument.

The afternoon consisted of a game called "Hunt the Staff." The priests, nuns and teachers (five of us) were given fifteen minutes to run off and hide in the grounds. Once caught we were dropped in a tank of cold rain water in the play ground—not very pleasant as it was dirty and cold. The idea seemed to be to allow the pupils to reverse roles—we were at their mercy and no longer "in command." After another Mass like the previous two described, the "retreat" ended with a disco until 1:00 a.m. A comment from one of the girls at the end was enlightening, "I love this place because Mass is not like Mass really; it's a laugh, just good fun. No way would I go to Mass at home—it's boring, so what's the point?"

On returning to school I discovered that not long ago the previous priests at the retreat center were replaced because they were considered "a little trendy." One shudders to think how much worse things must have been under their direction, and one sheds a tear for the future of the Church.