In this crisis of the Church, which has now gone on for over fifty years, not a few families have come to the conclusion that the Novus Ordo Mass is a danger to their faith. Perhaps they have done their own study, been guided by an SSPX priest, or simply reached a point of no return after regular attendance at the Novus Ordo.
Because Traditional Latin Masses are generally only in more heavily populated areas, and Traditionis Custodes has significantly reduced the availability of the TLM, some families find themselves too far away to go every Sunday.
Moral theologians indicate that there is no mathematical distance as such which excuses one from getting to Mass on a Sunday. It depends on the circumstances; when there is “grave inconvenience,” which is the blanket term these theologians use, one is not obliged to make the journey. The traditional moral theologian Fr. Dominic Pruemmer explains the situation:
Those are excused [from attending Mass on Sunday] who are a long way from church, such that they cannot go to church without significant effort or expense. But what that long distance is which excuses cannot be determined mathematically, because it depends greatly on particular circumstances of person, place, time, weather, and so on. Thus, a journey of one hour is not a serious inconvenience for most, when the weather is good and the road is straight and easy; but there are grounds for staying home when there is snow, rain, cold, or a rough road. Likewise, the elderly and those who are disabled are more easily excused [from attendance] than robust youth, as is obvious.1
Those families who are far away, and who find the journey to Mass difficult, sometimes choose to travel the distance once or twice a month instead of every Sunday. The efforts that each family makes to get to Mass are a lesson by example to the children of its importance. Some children remember with fondness in later years the great journey to Mass on Sundays: rising early, putting on one’s Sunday best, piling into the car while it is still dark, falling asleep during the Rosary on the way, finally making it to Mass and being present at the Great Sacrifice, the end goal of that persevering effort. Parents should be assured that the greater the effort they are able to make, the more of an esteem for the Mass they will be able to communicate to their children.
That being said, it is obviously not possible for some to make a long journey every week. On the off weeks, they have to make important decisions about what to do when Sunday rolls around. As the question implies, the family still has a duty to sanctify the Sunday. The impossibility of making it to Mass does not excuse one from the third commandment to keep holy the Lord’s day.
That means firstly to abstain from servile work on the Sunday. Fr. Iscara explained the nature of this abstinence in the November-December 2022 issue of The Angelus.2 Servile work is essentially physical, manual labor. Sunday is meant to be a day of rest; it is the Christian sabbath, when Catholics honor Our Lord’s Resurrection, which took place on Sunday, and imitate God’s resting from the work of creation on the seventh day.
Beyond the letter of the third commandment, its spirit indicates that we should seek to avoid things that are worldly and dissipating. Sunday is a good time to engage in leisure activities with the family. Parents should opt for wholesome indoor or outdoor games with their children rather than screen entertainment. Blessed is the family that is able to enjoy games of basketball, baseball, card games and board games, together.
The most important thing, however, for sanctifying the Sunday when one is unable to make it to Mass, is to set aside some time, typically at least an hour, for spiritual exercises. This can be done by “assisting” at a livestreamed TLM. In the January-February 2013 issue of The Angelus, Fr. Dominique Bourmaud indicated that, while one is not actually attending Mass when watching it online, yet it can be meritorious to do so, and one receives graces according to one’s devotion.3 I would add to this that parents must decide what Sunday at-home practice will best stimulate devotion. If they are able to assist at a livestreamed Mass with more attention and devotion than they would have reading the missal and reciting the Rosary together, then that is a good option. If, on the other hand, watching the Mass seems to devalue it in the eyes of the children, or they are unable to maintain a proper focus, then it is not a good option. In such a case, it might be good only to listen to the sermon of the Mass together but read the propers of the Mass on one’s own.
I believe it is important to create something of a Sunday atmosphere, even though the family is at home. If the children do a holy hour with their parents in their pajamas or sports clothing, chances are they will take the prayer time less seriously and will have more trouble focusing. But if they dress up for the holy hour, pray it at a set time and according to a set routine, and then have a nice meal with the family afterwards, they are more likely to profit from the prayers. In other words, formalizing the hour of prayer is an important part of fostering the devotion that takes place during it.
In the end, children learn how to relate to God and how to treat God mainly from their parents. If their father and mother honor God well each Sunday, their children will know how to respect Him throughout their lives.
1 Manuale Theologiae Moralis, II, 486.
2 The answer can be found online at http://www.angelusonline.org/index.php?section=articles&subsection=show_article&article_id=4575
3 His answer can be found at http://www.angelusonline.org/index.php?section=articles&subsection=show_article&article_id=3432